One thing I’ve realized pretty recently is that I don’t have to carry my burdens alone. I don’t have to struggle in silence. Carrying the things that weigh me down, as a party of one, holds me back from moving forward. It’s amazing to realize I have a team. People I trust. People who’s love and support lighten my load.
This episode is a very special one. It’s a little different than my other episodes. My guest is still an total girl-boss and entrepreneur. Jeni Cain is the owner of Monkee’s of the West End, a high-end boutique clothing store. But instead of focusing on the journey of her business, we are diving a bit deeper. In this episode Jeni and I are both sharing our own personal eating disorder stories: where it started, the mindset, the pain, and ultimately how we each chose recovery. t is because we have walked through these dark places that we’ve acquired our own special gifts. Gifts that help us connect to other people- especially other women – a depth of understanding and empathy that we would not otherwise possess, had it not been for our eating disorders.
Jeni and I hold such appreciation to all that gives light. It is because of our suffering that we value our joy. It is because we know what it means to be hollow & empty, that we have chosen to live our fullest life. This will be the first time I publicly sharing my story and I am so thankful to Jeni for giving me the strength to do so and quite literally being by my side…because it is when we share our fears that we diminish ALL the power they have over us. It’s time. As Jeni told me: it’s a war and each battle you win is another battle that makes you stronger! Remember you don’t have to fight your battles alone.
Also just a disclaimer that these are adults having adult conversations – there may be topics we discuss that you find triggering, so please do whatever you need to do, to take care of yourself! Also Jeni and I would love to hear from you and want you to know that we are here to help in anyway we can!! You can email me at email@example.com or message either of us directly on Instagram: Jeni is on IG: @jeni_cain_ and I’m @liveng_proof
I used to think life was black and white. Everything was measurable. And I couldn’t imagine my life without feeling this way. But I knew it had to change. I knew I wanted happiness and laughter. I wanted color and vibrancy. I wanted joy and calm. I wanted to live in a world void of numbers and measurements: masses, weights, pounds, circumferences, sizes. I didn’t want to be stuck in a place where these numbers measured me and my worthiness. I dreamt of waking up without feeling the dread of obligatory actions I must complete, all so I could just feel “okay”. I wanted to be free. Free of the restrictions and the rules I had made. But I didn’t know how. Whatever you’re struggling with, please know that it’s okay. But don’t stay silent, reach out. Silence is what gives these kinds of things a power over you.
Sticks and stones
My bones have grown
I used to hide
What once was cold
Comprised of mere skin and bone
What once was so frail
But a frame of bare timber and nail
Had shrunk & shriveled
So small and disfigured
A deep cold that stayed, lingering
Until a beam of white light
A warmth of desire so trite
A small flame ignited
In truth it delighted
To know it could live
But great effort it would give
To grow out of a line, knowing what’s yours is NOT mine
This race to save face
Why had I never known my place
My spine stands straight
The ligaments can now carry their weight
I’m hungry to stand tall
I will rise and cast my call
They will listen to my voice
It’s chords brightened, by choice
I want to live.
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Love & Light
P.S. I’d love to hear from you! Send me a message, a comic strip, pictures of your dogs, or sunflowers: firstname.lastname@example.org
This episode was brought to you by Happy + Hale
Photos From: happyandhale.com