LPP #74 Building Resiliency Against “Appearance Ideals”, Wanting To Matter, & Media Literacy with Renae Regehr

Renae Regehr is a Registered Clinical Counselor and is the founder of  ‘Free To Be Talks’, a non-profit organization that promotes positive body image to youth, parents, and educators through education in schools, speaking events, and media. Through her Masters of Counseling Psychology, Renae developed and tested a research-based curriculum: Free To Be. This program empowers young people to reach their full potential by developing media literacy awareness, cultivating individual strengths, building resilience to social pressures that impact body image, and nurturing a positive social environment.


IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

  • Seeking external validation (her body & appearance) because she thought it would make her feel good about herself only lead her to feeling lonely, anxious, and preoccupied with her appearance
  • ‘Killing Us Softly’ documentary by  Jean Kilbourne and how it changed the trajectory of her life. Opened her eyes into the subconscious effect of advertising.
  • The myths (appearance ideals) we subscribe to, because of advertising. And how men and women are represented in media.
  • Instead of trying to eliminate all the negative effects of body image, which historically is what Body Image Programs had done, Renae took a different approach. She saw power in cultivating resiliency & strength to withstand the pressures (instead of trying to eliminate the problem).
  • “It wasn’t that I wanted to be a model. It was that I wanted the things the models represented. We don’t come prepackaged knowing that when we are younger…wanting to be loved, wanting to matter, wanting to have opportunities.”
  • Developing media literacy. Discerning what’s real. Recognizing how media images are designed to manipulate natural human needs to matter.
  • Feeling that we matter without having to change who we are & what we look like
  • “It might feel special to be followed by others, but I feel most happy when I feel known and accepted by people who care about me.”
  • Appearance Ideals: your either chasing after, or if you “achieve” it you’re constantly working to “maintain” it
  • With social media all the “likes” and “followers” are social currency that you matter
  • Separating our self-value from the manipulation of the images we are seeing
  • “Information Leads To Transformation” – Dr. Dan Siegel  Never underestimate the power of sharing what you are learning
  • How the “stop comparing yourself to others” catch phrase, we use to “combat” the negative effects of social media, sets us up to fail.
  • While this message is well intentioned, our brains are hardwired to evaluate and to judge.
  • Instead of working against our hard-wiring we can acknowledge what we are feeling.
  • Our emotions tell us what we need:
  • Thinking Traps
  • Recognizing what we are actually craving when we start attaching ourselves to numbers of followers & likes. Acknowledging our desire for human connection.
  • We all have the same fundamental feeling of wanting to matter to some people. No matter how much money, followers, subscribers, size pants you where, how much you weigh, how many degrees you have etc.
  • We unpack the idea of “doing the work” on ourselves. Love is a verb.
  • “The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation”  – Dr. Bruce Perry
  • Finding people that cannot hold space for you without minimizing your experience
  • As a parent or friend, how to respond to someone when they share with you “I feel fat”
  • “When you can’t see the light, I will sit with you in the dark”.
  • Compliment our children’s intention (not just the product and their appearance)

CONNECT WITH RENAE:

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/BmMWk4bFrOU/ 

Website: http://freetobetalks.com/ 

 

BOOKS MENTIONED:

Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image: Learning to Love Ourselves as We Are

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

 

CONNECT WITH ENGRID:

Instagram: @livengproof

JOIN the Liveng Proof Pod Squad

Email: engrid@livengproof.com

For more information and full show notes visit: http://livengproof.com/

 



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