Sometimes before I teach a class I feel like I am 12 years old again; I’m nervously standing behind the blocks before a race at a swim meet. I have thought about this moment all week. I have that nervous/excitedness churning feeling in my stomach. And I do a lot of the same things to prep for it. I mull over how I want the workout to flow, scratching out rough ideas on paper, drawing out what equipment goes where.
And the week leading up to the event I know I’ll need to prep 3-winner giveaway bags AKA me running around town buying things in good-better-best-sets-of-three. At anthropologie the girl at the register noted “I’m guessing this a gift since there are three of everything?”. And at GNC I planted my generously-loaded basket onto the counter to checkout and in a do-you-come-here-often-tone the guy goes “A basket huh? We don’t see many of those” ….Yeah you know, just my regular weeks supply of SUPS;-)
Bust out a handwritten-welcome poster. Babe did you print the sign-in & waiver sheets?
Then there’s the creation of a solid spotify playlist for the big day (which you can check out here).
[spotify id=”spotify:user:engridb:playlist:3lFtMT6YWMn3Tpzc8lwRRE” width=”300″ height=”380″ /]
I have a new-found respect for people that host events – there are seriously so many details that you need to keep track of for everything to run smoothly. And let’s just say I’m not the most laid-back type…
And I guueeeessssss you could say I’m a bit neurotic when it comes to the day-of. I have to get ready hours before I actually have to be anywhere. I have a whole stretching routine I do. And as you can imagine I’m cray about being “on-time” (which is actually 10-15 mins earlier than real time). Props to my husband for being so tolerant of me when I’m in this zone…thanks babe. But the morning could not have been more perfect. The forecast had said there was supposed to be showers early Saturday morning. But when I woke up – they couldn’t have been more wrote. It was sunny and in the 70s – literally couldn’t have been any better!
Leading a class is invigorating – for that hour it’s GAME TIME! 100% of my focus is on my people. Watching their form, encouraging them, directing them, making sure they have a good handle on what to do, and above all else making sure they are having fun!
Sometimes I hear myself saying the most ridiculous things – somehow they make it past my usual filter. For example I was having people plank in a class one time and I had them do glute squeezes while they were planking and I said “pinch your cheeks hard, as if you were trying not to poop” – they all burst out laughing! Their form improved after I gave this cue & they were laughing = win-win in my book!
Quite often after I teach a class I am hit by a wave of “was that good enough?” “was that a challenging enough? fun enough? different enough? class”. As an instructor I have to remind myself that although I am leading – the focus is not on ME – its on each individual listening to me! The class is for them. I am there to give them an amazing workout!
I think that’s the only way I am able to “perform”. It’s not like I’m 9 years old again playing in a piano recital in front of an entire church full of people (are you seeing a trend? and OMG my palms are sweating just thinking about the anxiety I would get from those recitals! lawd!!!!)… This is of course noise in my own head, but I think we’ve all experienced the “am I enough?” noise before. Am I smart enough? experienced enough? pretty enough? rich enough? funny enough? thin enough? did I do enough? Am I enough?
And the answer is YES. I am enough. YOU are enough.
I will leave you with a quote from one of my favorites<3
“Wholeheartedness. There are many tenets of Wholeheartedness, but at its very core is vulnerability and worthiness; facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks, and knowing that I am enough.”