LPP#107 Suffering Happens When You Resist Reality, Getting Curious About The Stories Around Your Emotions and Thoughts, & Beliefs We Have About Our Pain with Kara Loewentheil

I’m speaking with Kara Loewentheil, who is a Master Certified Life Coach. With a B.A. from Yale and a J.D. from Harvard Law she brings the skills from her previous career as a women’s rights lawyer to her life coaching. Additionally her approach is rooted in cognitive psychology-based techniques and feminist theory. She likes to think of herself as a fun, feminist, non-judgmental combo of life coach and feminist mentor.


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Website: unfuckyourbrain.com

Instagram: @karaloewentheil

Podcast: unfuckyourbrain.com/podcasts


IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

  • You can’t just tell yourself to NOT believe something
  • When you believe something, it just means you’ve thought it a lot – you’ve created a mental habit
  • Why it’s important to focus on what you want to think INSTEAD, to replace the thought patterns that aren’t serving you
  • When trying to implement a thought shift, focus on babystep thoughts
  • Being open to the idea that “I may not even be able to imagine what is possible beyond where I’m at right now”
  • The brain wants to be RIGHT, even if that means you feel miserable
  • Anticipatory fear of feeling a feeling
  • Learning how to process an emotion: learning how to have a feeling and not have it feel so terrible & how to change your thoughts (knowing you have the tools to deal with the feeling)
  • Our brains default to assigning meaning/ identifying with our fear-based emotions
  • Why women struggle to express their anger, and why men struggle to express sadness
  • Why she doesn’t think it’s important to focus on where your habits/tendencies came from
  • Emotions are not an emergency signal
  • We are taught to believe we need to change our body – ask yourself, “who is benefiting when I feel this way?”
  • When we want reality to be different than it is, this is when we experience suffering
  • “If all you’ve ever experienced is what it’s like to have a negative emotion while you are resisting and you doing think it should be there and that is a problem, then you don’t actually know what it feels like to have a negative emotion and not resist it.”
  • The stages of recovery to healing the relationship with your body/ body image
  • Why she doesn’t subscribe to “high vibe” and why she doesn’t need to adopt the emotions or outlook of others
  • “As soon as you’re judging your own thoughts, you’re making it SO hard to change them”
  • When we judge our own thoughts we create shame
  • Learning to value YOUR thoughts to graduate on eventually to letting go of what people think

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