This episode holds a very special place in my heart. Today I’m chatting with one of my personal training clients: Dorothy Camak, who has become a very dear friend of mine. I’ve had the honor and privilege of witnessing her transform over the past 15 months. This transformation goes far beyond the physical changes you can see from the outside. As she shares in this conversation, she’s experienced a dramatic shift from hating who she saw in the mirror to truly loving herself.

---

IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

• How she felt called to pursue a new path after losing her father to suicide in 2014
• Shifting away from chasing the means to get to an “idealized” end
• The all consuming nature of chasing an elusive perceived ideal
• How we attach our identity to the number on the scale
• How she realized that her weight did not directly correspond to her level of happiness. (feeling unhappy in a smaller body)
• Love the person that comes to the workout each day
• Shifting from looking in the mirror and hating herself to LOVING herself
• She has discovered a new relationship with movement through realizing that she doesn’t have to EARN her worth, because its already there
• How she used to think of self-love as indulgent and has since shifted to embracing it. Recognizing that we are valuable and we don’t have to earn the right to treat ourselves with love and kindness
• Learning to get out of her own way
• “the second arrow” (adopted from Tara Brach) – we judge something, and then judge ourselves for being judgemental → which only adds another layer of shame
• Acceptance and Surrender
  • Is not “giving up”,  “settling”, or having contempt and feeling like “this is just the way it is”
  • It’s complete and total surrender and having love for where I am in the present moment
• Letting go of the pressure for working out to meet “societal standards”
• Being open and experimenting with her workouts has shown her that she can be open to change in other areas of her life
• Adapting to change: instead of being thrown for a loop the second you encounter something different
• The ego gets attached to the idea that it deserves to struggle
• Historically health/fitness/working out had always been a means to get to the end: “I got through that workout (that experience) so NOW I can be happy”
• The total mindset shift she’s experienced → she now finds joy in the training experience: “I enjoyed that workout, I am already happy”
• Waking up to comparison traps we didn’t even know the we are in
• Embracing the vulnerability of not knowing, when she decided to retire her fitbit
• How Dorothy has helped me to grow as a trainer
• Observing is not the same as Judging. We can notice something we’re doing that we wish was different, and judge ourselves for it. OR we can become judgemental of others
• We can NOTICE this judgement and use it as a guide
• Awareness goes beyond thought
• “We’re all drunk on something” –Seth Haines
• As humans there is that unconsciousness and unawareness  in all of us. Simply having awareness that these tendencies are in us, without putting pressure on ourselves to FIGURE IT OUT
• The ego wants to ‘want’ more than it wants to ‘have’
• We live in a state of dissatisfaction and capitalism preys upon our insecurities and fears of “not enough”
• Life is not a dress rehearsal: recently learning how much she truly likes herself
• How she’s most recently stopped judging photos of herself on instagram/ social media

---

CONNECT WITH DOROTHY:

Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/BmMWk4bFrOU/ 

Business IG: https://www.instagram.com/dorothycamak/ 

Website: http://www.dorothycamak.com/ 

My neighbor, Josh and I found ourselves at the pool by ourselves the other day. ☀️⛱The sunlight was perfect so naturally we took advantage of iPhone’s portrait mode and started goofing around. ????????????????The cement was our catwalk. ????????????????We were laughing and having the best time channeling our inner Tyra. Josh directed me to “get up on that rock.” ⛰ For a moment I forgot about the cellulite on my thighs, jumped over the bushes, and positioned myself on the poolside rock. Laughing all the while. Our mini impromptu iPhone photo shoot ended and we assessed our images. To my surprise, I didn’t shudder and feel shame towards my body. Is this progress? Maybe. Either way, I’ll take it. ????This body I call home is what God calls His masterpiece. (Eph 2:10) And the years I spent hiding her, abusing her, and hating her are over. My Lord willing. The past year has been marked with several shifts in my relationship with my body. I am grateful to taste new freedoms everyday: to embrace where I am today and becoming more of the me He created me to be with each passing day. So much love and appreciation to @livengproof for being on this journey with me. And special shout out to @nycfoodiefinder for your inspiring feed that has given me all the feels on this holiday weekend! ????☀️????????

---

BOOKS MENTIONED:

Coming Clean: A Story of Faith by Seth Haines (Author), Shauna Niequist (Foreword) 

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

 

CONNECT WITH ENGRID:

Instagram: @livengproof

JOIN the Liveng Proof Pod Squad

Email: engrid@livengproof.com

For more information and full show notes visit: https://livengproof.com/

 

---

---

LISTEN ON ITUNES

GET INVOLVED

Hang out with the Pod Squad on Facebook for your daily dose of health, wellness, and uplifting conversation. (and you’ll get sneak peeks of new things coming to the blog and podcast first).

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY

The Liveng Proof Podcast is officially available on SPOTIFY (as well as itunes of course)! Be sure to tap on that follow button so you don’t miss a thing!

SHOW SOME LOVE

If you love the show and want to support it in some way, leave a review on iTunes. It helps get the show in front of new people.

SHARE YOUR TRIAL & TRIUMPH

Get featured on the show by sharing your trial & triumph for the week – email them to me engrid@livengproof.com with the subject line “trial and triumph”

HIT ME UP

I definitely want to hear from you! Leave a comment, Direct Message me on Instagram @livengproof, or email me at engrid@livengproof.com

---

LISTEN ON THE COMPUTER:

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Email | Support