LPP #84 Growing Up in An Alcoholic Home & Healing From Dysfunctional Relationships with Melanie Short & Holly Homan

Today I am speaking with both how Melanie Short and Holly Homan both of whom are licensed clinical social workers . And together they are they founded JRNY Counseling with two locations in Indiana.

Melanie Short MSW, LCSW and a Love First Certified Clinical Interventionist, who has specialized in the fields of addiction and mental health, for over a decade. She is all about empowerment and love helping people figure out how to thrive. Holly Homan LCSW, LCAC has over 15 years of experience working with long-term recovery for teens and women. She thrives on providing support to people to heal after standard “treatment” has ended. She specializes in addiction, trauma, PTSD and family conflict.


IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

  • Mental health issues such as addictions, are often portrayed in media as an extreme
  • Varying degrees of addiction exist
  • When did it become your solution?
  • Rock bottom and bringing the bottom UP
  • Melanie shares her personal experience as an Adult Child Of an Alcoholic (ACOA)
  • You can grow up in an alcoholic home without alcohol being present
  • Traits of growing up in an alcoholic home (the same characteristics can be present if you grew up with someone with depression or high anxiety): 
    • Tension, stress, and perfectionism
    • Unspoken rules in the home: Don’t Talk, Don’t Tell, Don’t Feel
    • As a child you felt like something was wrong, but everybody acts like nothing is wrong → so you learn not to trust yourself
    • Learn to be hyper-vigilant
    • You don’t learn to ask open ended question
    • You don’t learn how to get what you need (because the idea is to just MANAGE)
  • Marry someone you can save, so you can have more power than you did in your childhood
  • Have difficulty setting boundaries because we want to avoid hurting others the way you’ve been hurt
  • Codependent & enabling roles
  • When a child learns to be hyper-vigilant, it increases your stress level to a higher level than it should be. This changes the chemistry of a child’s brain. Later on in life this can contribute to high levels of anxiety and an affinity for control
  • The cycle of abandonment and the role of victim
  • Victim mindset & identity: I am helpless. Things happen TO me.
  • When you have a reaction that is disproportionate to a situation
  • Recovery & getting better does not mean you will never get triggered again, it’s about how you respond to the situation
  • Just because we have emotions doesn’t mean we need to act on them
  • Asking our emotions: what is it that I really need to do?
  • How to determine the root cause of our emotional triggers
  • Taking the pressure off when it comes to therapy and thinking we need to implement it a certain way, for it to be “right”
  • Why we tend to be triggered more easily by the people we are closest with.
  • Affirmative Feedback vs. Solution-Based Feedback

CONNECT WITH MELANIE + HOLLY:

WEBSITE: https://jrnycounseling.com/

INSTAGRAM: @jrnycounseling

MELANIE:
melanie@jrnycounseling.com 
317-796-2135

HOLLY:
holly@jrnycounseling.com
317-735-8859


CONNECT WITH ENGRID:

INSTAGRAM: @livengproof

JOIN the Liveng Proof Pod Squad

EMAIL: engrid@livengproof.com

For more information and full show notes visit: http://livengproof.com/

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BOOKS MENTIONED:

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time

The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life

Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People–and Break Free

Gaslighting: The Ultimate Narcissistic Mind Control

You Are a Badass®: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead


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