In this episode I’m chatting with Living Proof Podcast long-time listener Jill Butler. Jill is a passionate foodie, creative and lover of music, art and photography. She’s recently landed on her dream job, working as a social media + communications coordinator. She finds her daily inspiration in her ability to dream big, create and explore her curiosities into what sparks joy equally in her career and personal life.
For many years she was left feeling defeated by her struggle with perfectionism, anxiety and depression. After reaching her lowest point, she decided to seek help and work toward rediscovering who she is, outside the definition of her mental health struggles. By practicing more mindful thinking, she’s been able to reframe her outlook on life, extend grace toward herself, and takes each day one at a time.
CONNECT WITH JILL:
Personal Instagram: @jilliri
Professional Instagram: @overcollective
CONNECT WITH ENGRID:
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IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:
- Not thinking she has enough of a story to be a guest on the podcast
- Stepping out of her comfort zone to be interviewed for the podcast
- Being a planner as it pertains to control
- How overthinking and anti-spontaneity have held her back in her past
- Jill’s Mom was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when she was 14 – and she shares how this experience affected her
- Her desire for support around this time lead her to enter into a long-term relationship, which ended up being destructive & toxic
- How the trauma of her mother’s diagnosis and the toxic romantic relationship, ultimately lead to perfectionism, people pleasing, and anxiety
- How work became her distraction to not feel her trauma
- The work-life change that invited her to face her trauma
- The move to a different city that shook things up in her career and marriage → brought up a feeling that she was alienated from others and alienated in her marriage
- When you’re struggling and you don’t know why it can cause a feeling of distance between you and your spouse. It’s hard to communicate to someone why you’re struggling if you do not know why you are struggling.
- Wearing a mask vs. unraveling and letting people in to see the REAL you
- People who use “vulnerability” as a way to gain attention → where there can be too much focus on the struggle & not enough on how to move forward
- Embracing the fact that your struggle doesn’t define, that you are more than that
- The pro’s and con’s of social media
- How she learned to equate yelling with feeling loved (trauma from her first boyfriend and how it has affected conflict resolution in her marriage)
- Rewriting old habits/beliefs from her past & learning what a healthy relationship is actually like
- How she navigates her people pleasing tendencies
- Getting to know yourself again to discover what SHE actually enjoys
- Going through a season of finding her joy & worthiness through productivity
- Hearing other people’s stories & struggles helped her to understand that she wasn’t alone
- Learning to overcome this idea: “I’m not worthy to enjoy myself, I need to earn my worth”
- Meditation with the headspace app
- Food and body as it related to her anxiety
- Gaining awareness of food rules
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